Palm Springs Woman Who Tried to Cut Off Her Husband’s D**k Gets ZERO Jail Time

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The Palm Springs woman who attempted to cut off her husband’s junk in 2011 will receive no jail time because, wait…what the fuck!!!!

Virginia Valdez, 72, of Palm Springs, will not serve any prison time as a result of a plea agreement she signed in December reports The Desert Sun.

If you do not remember exactly what Valez did to her husband and his baby maker, we broke it down back in December:

According to authorities, the 72-year-old Valdez and her husband were having oral sex when she announced that she had to brush her teeth(!), but that was just an excuse to grab a pair of scissors and…

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The husband, who was not identified, was able to drive to the hospital and required “advance medical attention”

Valdez confessed to felony assault with a deadly weapon in the agreement, which would normally be a 9 year jail sentence – but Valdez will serve no time. Not one day. Zero. Zilch. Nada. [Insert lots of other words meaning “none”].  Unbelievable

Valdez’s husband was represented by attorney Gloria Allred (but then who isn’t nowadays when there is a camera around) who was not happy:

“(My client) is left with some resentment against the criminal justice system because he feels that if he had been a woman victim of domestic violence that the case would not have been permitted to be delayed for so long and that the punishment for Virginia would have been harsher,” Allred said.

Tough to argue with that.