Please, don’t use the 7-Eleven microwave to heat up your urine


The good folks at 7-Eleven are kind enough to offer up the free use of a microwave oven inside of their stores. Now, the microwave is their with the assumption that customers might like to warm up those forzen burritos and Hot Pockets that they just purchased because, even though they are most likely consuming these products while stoned, the dining experience is much enhanced when those products are warm rather than frozen solid. Another thing that entices customers to use the 7-Eleven nuker: the assumption that someone has not used it to warm up their piss for a drug test.

Police had to be called out to a 7-Eleven in Beaverton, Oregon this week after a suspicious object exploded inside of the store’s microwave. And, you guess it, that object was a bag of piss, reports KATU:

Officers were called out to the 7-Eleven at 4700 SW Murray Road on reports that a strange object was left in the store’s microwave. The store was evacuated out of an abundance of caution, and the Portland Police explosives unit was called out to investigate.

According to police, the object turned out to be a urine sample that was wrapped in a hand warmer.

“It appears that whoever was on his/her way to do a drug test did not feel that it was warm enough, so they decided to microwave it at 7-Eleven,” Beaverton Police spokesperson Mike Rowe said in a release. “The chemical makeup of the hand warmer did not agree with the microwave and exploded.”

As Gizmodo points out, the fabric pouch of a handwarmer contains iron powder, a metal, and basically caused the microwave to react the same way that it would if someone had put a piece of aluminum foil in it.

Police are examining surveillance footage to figure out who is responsible for the incident – though it might just be easier to see who tried to quickly cancel their urine test shortly afterwards.