The calendar has changed, temperatures have cooled, and it’s time for another round of “The Season” in the Greater Palm Springs area. Don’t believe me? You should! Because you will undoubtedly see most, if not all, of these ten things in the Coachella Valley over the next few days.
There’s stuff going on
As soon as the calendar flips to November, it’s impossible to go ten feet without walking into a charity 5k or some sort of art show / flea market thing. While other cities space out their event over an entire year, in the desert event planners jam they all into five months – leading to crazy decisions like having two beer fests on the same damn day.
Douchemobiles are everywhere
The easiest way to know that it’s The Season is to head out onto Highway 111 where you will see lots of blue-haired men cruising around in loud, obnoxiously painted cars that cost more than your house. Sure, these vehicles can go zero to 200 mph is 5.5 seconds but these guys tend to drive them about 20 mph even though the speed limit is 55.
There’s parking in the shade
Remember August when you would have gladly given someone ten bucks to park your car in the shade just so when you returned to it, you didn’t burst into flames the minute you got back inside? Well, good news: those days are over! The bad news is that you’ll probably have a hard time finding any parking spot – and not because things are more crowded, rather the owners of those douchemobiles tend to take up two spaces because, well, they are douches.
White knuckle driving
You better be alert as fuck when driving on Highway 111 because, literally, anything can happen. The roads are no longer yours, my friend – so, despite you minding your own business driving the speed limit in your lane, the guy next to you just realized he wants to turn left at the next intersection and dammit he will cut across 3 lanes – all with cars in them – without signaling and with no regard for his or anyone else’s safety.
As seen in the photo above, you should also be alert even if you are walking on the sidewalk or even just working inside a store.
Costco is crazy crowded
I honestly think they could put up eight additional Costcos in the Coachella Valley from November to April and each one would be profitable simply by selling fiber pills, salmon fillets, and Seagram’s gin.
There’s a line to get into the Nest as far as they eye can see
It is, once again, the busiest bar in town.
Windows are open
After spending four or five months locked away in your cave doing everything you can to keep the evil sunlight out and the awesome air conditioning in, you can now open up the damn windows and might actually have a few extra bucks to spend since you are not giving it all to So Cal Edison.
The Street Fair has vendors
Back in August, I went to the College of the Desert Street Fair and there were three people there: a girl selling garlic presses, a guy manning a taco truck, and me.
You have to make restaurant reservations
You might actually have to call ahead if you plan on dining out or you might actually have to wait for a table. You might also notice a sudden influx of diners eating their dinner at 4pm.
There’s more than just bachelorette parties on Palm Canyon
During July, the only people you see on Palm Canyon at night are packs of women wearing the same shirts looking to have dinner and then get “fehked uhp!” During The Season, things get a little bit more diverse – though be warned: when driving Palm Canyon watch out, as pedestrians seem to think the crosswalks are there for everyone else.
There is a sudden change in attitude
It’s weird, but in the summertime, despite everyone being broke and super sweaty all the time, the mood seems much happier than The Season. Maybe it’s just a bunch of built up tension from all that white knuckle driving.
Did we miss anything? Let’s discuss in the comments.
