The calendar has flipped, temperatures have cooled, and just like that, “The Season” has returned to Greater Palm Springs.

If you live here year-round, you already feel it. If you’re new, you’re about to learn. Because over the next few weeks, you will absolutely see most, if not all, of these signs play out across the Coachella Valley.

1. There’s Stuff Going On. Everywhere.

Once November hits, it becomes impossible to go ten feet without stumbling into a charity 5K, art show, pop-up market, or something involving booths and live music.

While other cities spread events across the year, the desert crams them into five months. This is how you end up with two beer festivals on the same day.

2. Douchemobiles Are Everywhere

The fastest way to confirm The Season is to drive Highway 111.

You’ll see a parade of loud, brightly painted cars that cost more than your house, driven by blue-haired men who appear deeply offended by the concept of a speed limit. Yes, the car can hit 200 mph. No, it will never exceed 20.

3. There’s Parking in the Shade (Sort Of)

Remember August, when you would’ve paid real money to park in the shade just to avoid spontaneous combustion?

Good news: shaded parking is back. Bad news: you still can’t find a spot, because the aforementioned douchemobiles are parked diagonally across two spaces.

4. White-Knuckle Driving Is Mandatory

Driving during The Season requires full alertness at all times.

The roads are no longer yours. The person next to you will decide, without warning, that they need to turn left immediately and will cross three lanes to do it. Turn signals are optional. Physics is a suggestion.

As the photo above suggests, this applies whether you’re driving, walking, or simply standing inside a building.

5. Costco Becomes a War Zone

From November through April, Costco is pure chaos.

I am convinced the valley could support eight additional Costcos during The Season, all funded entirely by fiber supplements, salmon fillets, and Seagram’s gin.

6. There’s a Line to Get Into The Nest

Once again, it is the busiest bar in town.

7. Windows Are Open

After four or five months of sealing yourself indoors to keep the evil sunlight out and the blessed air conditioning in, you can finally open the windows.

You may also notice your electric bill drops and you suddenly have money again.

8. The Street Fair Actually Has Vendors

In August, I went to the College of the Desert Street Fair and there were exactly three people: a woman selling garlic presses, a guy running a taco truck, and me.

That problem has been corrected.

9. You Need Restaurant Reservations

You can no longer just wander into your favorite spot and grab a table.

You may have to wait. You may also notice a dramatic increase in people eating dinner at 4 p.m.

10. Palm Canyon Isn’t Just Bachelorette Parties Anymore

During summer, Palm Canyon at night belongs exclusively to matching T-shirt bachelorette parties.

During The Season, it gets more diverse. Just be careful driving. Pedestrians treat crosswalks like a suggestion.

11. There’s a Sudden Shift in Attitude

It’s strange, but despite being broke and sweaty all summer, people seem happier then.

Once The Season hits, the vibe tightens up. Possibly from traffic. Possibly from unresolved resentment. Probably both.

Did we miss anything? Let’s hear it in the comments.