New Year’s Even is garbage.
Now I get it, the peer pressure to go out on New Year’s Eve is always huge. I mean there are so many parties and events. Plus the movies always make it look so cool. So it must mean you have to go out, right? Fuck no.
Here are five reasons to stay home:
1) Capitalism
There are many reasons to skip heading out, but let’s just start with how everything goes up in price. Dinner, booze, your Uber ride – they are all going to cost you more cash just because it is New Year’s.
Seriously, is this the way you really want to start out the new year?
Last night I paid $83 for a 5 minute uber ride… What is the world coming to
— Riley Tegtmeyer (@RileyTeg) January 1, 2016
Hell no.
2) These dumbass glasses
I thought for sure we were done with these after 2009. Sadly, I was so wrong.
3) You Are Going to Hate It
New Year’s Eve is going to be amazing, right? Nope. A 1999 study actually showed that pretty much anyone who thought New Year’s Eve was going to be a blast, went home sad (via Washington Post):
The study found that an overwhelming 83 percent of those they surveyed ended up being disappointed with their New Year’s Eve celebration. And the people who were the most let down were those with the highest expectations.
So you have that going for you.
4) These dumbass hats
They usually throw these in for “free” with your expensive dinner or party tickets. They, like New Year’s Eve, are awful.
5) Drunks
New Year’s Eve is amateur night. The last time I went on New Year’s Eve, I witnessed a dude do the technicolor hurl in the men’s bathroom before 10 pm, a huge fight in the parking lot, and a woman cut her hand while trying to pick up her broken martini glass from the floor.
Parties are bad enough, but then throw in way too many drunk drivers on the road and a bunch of assholes firing guns in the air and, yeah, going out on New Year’s Eve is just the worst.
