Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column. Have a question, dilemma, or quandary? Send it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.
Clare,
My girlfriend has never had a job and was gifted a brand new BMW the day she turned 16. She knows that I essentially come from another planet, financially. She’s been understanding of that. She is visiting for Valentine’s Day. I asked her where she would like to go to dinner and she picked Le Vallauris. She said they get great Yelp reviews and her aunt who ‘winters here’ loves the place. I made a reservation but am really dreading it. I know I will be worried about the tab the whole time. What should I do?
– Can’t buy her love
Can’t buy her love,
Here’s a menu for you. Option 1 – cancel your reservation and make her a fabulous dinner at home. Tell her you wanted something more intimate. (This option is not for you if you’re not skilled in the kitchen.) Option 2 – have drinks and appetizers somewhere less pricey nearby, like Moxie (maybe you can snag the table by their fireplace). That way your girl will be a bit full by the time you get to Le Vallauris. Option 3 – be real with her and tell her that’s outside of your budget and tell her some of the places you had in mind.
– Clare
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Clare,
I have been waiting to break up with my boyfriend until the week after Valentine’s Day. While I am eager to see what he gets me, that’s not my main purpose for waiting. Two years ago, his ex left him two days before Vday and he speaks of it like the worst thing someone could do. Am I obliged to return his gift? I feel I’ve earned it by putting up with him.
– Heart breaker
Heart breaker,
Give his gift back to him since the relationship is already over in your mind. Also, you’ll be known to all as the girl that dumped him right after Valentine’s Day. But really, who cares?
– Clare
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Clare,
For the past year, I have been leaving occasional secret admirer notes and trinkets for a woman I work with. It’s become the talk of the office. I was hoping for a Valentines Day reveal but then I saw her in the parking lot hugging another coworker. I was fine to just let it go but she told me that she and ‘Kevin’ got together and he was her admirer. She said she thought it was super romantic and when he asked her out a month ago, she said yes. I can’t believe this guy took credit for my gestures. Should I come clean to her or confront him?
– Stupid Cupid
Stupid Cupid,
I kind of admire ‘Kevin’. What bravado? It’s time to one up him. Leave your girl another note with the name of a restaurant, a date and a time. When she’s stood up, Kevin will have some explaining to do.
– Clare
