Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column. Have a question, dilemma, or quandary? Sent it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.
Dear Clare,
I really want to go to Stagecoach this year (especially after the announcement!) but my boyfriend hates country music. He’s already planning to go to Coachella with a group of guys from work and is really rude when I bring up Stagecoach. I go to Marvel movies all the time for him. Is it only fair to expect that he join me at Stagecoach? – Country Girl
Country Girl,
While I would like to say that compromise is important and he should boot up for a weekend, music for those who hate it is like nails on a chalkboard. Plus you have to pony up a pretty penny for a wristband. Corral a group of girls for Garth. Time spent apart with friends may bring you and your boyfriend closer together. If you can get beyond this very big obstacle, maybe you have a future together. If not, the polo grounds may be a good place to get back in the saddle. Note: Marvel movies are generally enjoyable so let’s not pretend this is a big sacrifice on your part.
Clare
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Dear Clare,
I’m going to College of the Desert and still living at home. I pay rent to my parents to stay in the room that I grew up in. While I don’t resent paying, I do resent my mother continuing to treat me like a child. I regularly get chewed out because my mom thinks my room is too dirty. My mom also tries to tell me that I can’t go out of town to see friends. This doesn’t happen with my older brother who goes to college out of state. How can I get my mom to change her ways? – Peter Pan
Peter Pan,
Let your parents know that you’d like to continue living with them and paying rent but you need more privacy and freedom. Give examples of what this means to you. Remind your mom, gently, that she doesn’t helicopter around your older brother and he is alive and well. In the mean time, check Craigslist for digs you can afford if (when) your mom reverts to her old ways. Note: Your current living arrangement may seriously hinder dating.
Clare
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Dear Clare,
I met an amazing woman online, “Jen”. She lives in Orange County and I have visited her there a few times. I wanted to wait until it cooled down a little to have her come here but I don’t want to put it off any longer. She’s visiting next weekend and I want to plan something amazing. We both love spending time outside. If things get serious, I am hoping she would move out here. Any suggestions? – Falling Fast
Falling Fast,
Congrats on finding someone cool on the web that you actually have chemistry with in person. Since it’ll still be pretty warm, I’d say the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway is a good option, but it’s down for maintenance until September 30. You could plan a hike in the Whitewater Preserve where you can even dip your feet into the water to cool off. Every Saturday this month, The Living Desert has Safari Nights though some are more family-oriented. Whatever you do – don’t try to sell the Coachella Valley like a used car salesman would. Let Jen get to know this place as your relationship blossoms.
Clare
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Dear Clare,
I have a really bad dog. Sami’s pretty much the worst but I still really love her. In the past several years, she’s eaten carpet, shredded curtains, bitten the mailman and more. My husband and I are thinking of having kids soon and our parents insist we get rid of Sami before we do. She’s never displayed aggression toward kids and really she’s our (horrible demon) baby. – Puppy Love
Puppy Love,
Are you and your husband on the same page about this? If you both want to keep Sami while you head toward parenthood, that’s your decision alone. Because the dog has bitten someone, get a certified trainer on board. Never leave Sami and children alone. Make plans for what you would do with the dog if there is any sign of aggression once the baby comes home. Know your feeling may change during your pregnancy or once you have the baby. The Palm Springs Animal Shelter in the only no-kill shelter in the valley.
Clare
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Dear Clare,
My sister “Amy” and I always fight about where to go to eat when she’s in town. She only wants to eat at chain restaurants. (yes, we have the same parents!) I know there will be some eateries that don’t measure up, but usually I can count on Yelp or local recommendations. The vast majority of local restaurants across the valley are so much better than Olive Garden or Applebee’s. Plus, it’s better to support local business. How can I get her to open her mind (and mouth) to these options on her trip next month? – Local Eats
Local Eats,
I’m with you on this. There are hundreds of incredible spots to eat in the valley. Only those without taste buds and culture would venture to stick to chains here (sorry sister). Break Amy out of the box by treating her to a few meals at local spots. Stick to types of food that she likes. Instead of Olive Garden, go to the Enoteca Bar at Mamma Gina’s. Trade Applebee’s for Tony’s Burgers. You’ll be telling her, “I told you so” after her first few bites. If not, let her choke down never ending breadsticks.
Clare
