Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column. Have a question, dilemma, or quandary? Send it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.
Clare,
I went through a breakup a few months ago but just cleaned my apartment. My ex-girlfriend left a few inexpensive items (hair brush, makeup, sweatshirt, etc.) at my place before the breakup. We broke up amicably at Keedy’s over pancakes. A week later, I found out she was cheating on me with a guy she is now living with. I really would prefer to never see her again. I definitely don’t want to go by this guy’s place. I am obligated to mail these items? I don’t have her address and would need to talk with her to get it.
– Breakfast breakup
Breakfast breakup,
You’re off the hook. She can get new stuff. Toss the brush and makeup and give the sweatshirt to your sister or Goodwill. Please don’t let this girl ruin Keedy’s for you.
Clare
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Clare,
I’m single – I don’t want to be. I’m not a big drinker – I don’t want to be. My friends have dragged me into every bar in downtown Pam Springs to meet men. The guys I’ve met are more than happy to buy drinks and clearly only interested in a fling. I’ve tried new activities to find men but nothing yet. The only thing I haven’t tried is online dating. I don’t want to go there. Any advice?
– Sober & single
Sober & single,
You may want to give online dating a go – a paid service. There are a lot of different options. If a guy has to pay to be on it, he probably is truly interested in a relationship. Keep it up with the other activities but try not to focus too much on finding ‘the one’. Look for people you like to spend your time with. You may come away with new friends and you may realize Mr. Right is right there.
Clare
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Dear Clare,
I have a new boyfriend. He’s attractive, smart, funny and has a solid career at a local wealth management company. I thought he was the one. And then he spent the night last Friday. Don’t get me wrong, that was pretty amazing, too, except for one thing. While we were having sex, he said “atta girl” more than once. It was an absolute turn off for me. Should I tell him this bothers me? I am afraid I will lash out if I hear it again.
– Pillow talk
Pillow talk,
Have this conversation before your next adventure between the sheets, especially if you think you may lose your cool. Explain what about it bothers you and let it go. If your boy toy has a new catch phrase that you’re not into next time – let him know that you’re picky with your pillow talk and you prefer not to talk. Sometimes someone seems perfect on paper but they aren’t really compatible with you. It’s okay to let a good catch go.
Clare
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