Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column. Have a question, dilemma, or quandary? Sent it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.
Clare,
My husband and I are house hunting. He has been sending me links to homes in DHS. I have told him before that I have no interest in living there. Zero. I have talked to him about all of the reasons why (gusty, gunshots, the list goes on) but he just keeps saying how much more house we can get for our money. What can I do to make him understand this is non-negotiable? – Desperate Hot Springs
Desperate Hot Springs,
Some say DHS isn’t for the feint of heart. Have you heard the old adage: you either start off in DHS or end up there? Like your husband, many people new to the valley are tempted by the reasonable prices and scenic vistas. Others are dumped there after a short stint in prison – or so the urban legend goes. Humor your husband and go to ONE open house in Desert Hot Springs so that he knows his opinion matters. Afterwards, over a Crazy Girl roll at Domo Sushi nearby tell him that you don’t see yourself doing much more than enjoying the occasional meal or spa day in DHS.
Clare
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Clare,
My cousin is really bad at window shopping – in that she steals things that she sees and wants. It is a blouse here and a pair of panties there. She can afford these things but doesn’t head to the register unless she’s got too much to fit in her (rather large) purse. We used to do this in the mall as kids but it’s now El Paseo and we’re moms. I am thinking of talking to a store and their security beforehand. I can give them my card to pay for her items and they can teach her a valuable lesson without getting law enforcement involved. Thoughts? – Klepto’s Cousin
Klepto’s Cousin,
You still shop with this person? You didn’t mention that you’ve tried talking with your cousin – but I assume you’ve already tried that. She needs some counseling to be sure. Your plan seems logical but I am not sure if a manager at a shop on El Paseo will want to treat your cousin with kid gloves. Do NOT attempt to run this experiment somewhere that she has shoplifted in the past. Your time and efforts are better spent trying to find her a good therapist and a new, exciting pastime.
Clare
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Clare,
My friend Tim’s brother owns a pool service company. I have a pool and a pool man. Tim constantly reminds all of our friends that his brother would be happy to give us estimates. I don’t like the idea of using his brother, mainly because if I ever needed to switch it would be awkward. I’m also happy with the job my guy is doing. How do I get Tim to back off? – Deep end
Deep end,
Tim is clearly trying to be supportive of his brother. It seems like you may need to be crystal clear that you’re happy with your pool man. Let Tim know that you’ll keep his brother in mind in the future for yourself and recommendations to others but that you aren’t in the market right now. This should be a signal to back off. If he doesn’t, consider an intervention pool party.
Clare
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