Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column. Have a question, dilemma, or quandary? Sent it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.
Dear Clare,
I work in a shop on El Paseo. I’ve been there nine months and I really like it. The problem is, my boss started playing Christmas music this week. For the love of God, it is the first full week of November. I don’t know how I will be able to chat with customers without wanting to take pencils to my eardrums. I’ve complained to other coworkers and most of them agree with me. I love Christmas and I am even okay with Christmas music (in December). How can I get my boss to stop the insanity? This seems akin to harassment. – Tune of terror
Tunes of terror,
It is objectively too early for Christmas music – the holiday hits should start playing only after Thanksgiving. The exception is ironic Christmas in July music. That being said, it seems that you’re making this into something bigger than it is. Seeing as you like your job aside from the music, I would very politely ask your boss if you can change the music or even alternate it for a few hours each day. You could tell her a customer complained about it. If the boss says no, learn to live with it and hopefully White Christmas will become white noise.
Clare
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Clare,
My husband is a horrible driver. He weaves in and out of traffic, follows too closely and has gotten in at about one fender bender a year for the past five years. I really don’t like driving with him so I usually offer to drive. Now, he wants to buy an RV for family vacations. I have told him that I don’t like the idea but he keeps bringing it up and came home with a salesman’s business card the other day. The thought of spending my vacation driving a behemoth vehicle makes me want to cry. The thought of him driving us around in an RV makes me want to die. How can I quash this (ill-advised) purchase? – Worried wife
Worried wife,
You should absolutely not spend your vacations fearing for your life or chained to the wheel. Stay firm that you do not like the idea of the RV. Perhaps a white lie that you get sick if you’re not driving and you don’t want to spend your vacation driving will do the trick. Your husband should absolutely not make a major decision, like buying an RV, without having you on board.
Clare
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Dear Clare,
My mother-in-law moved in about six months ago after selling her home. It was intended to be very temporary. She was all set to buy a condo but the transaction fell through. She has looked at half a dozen places since then and hasn’t liked any of them. I don’t think I can take it any longer. My husband actually seems happy his mom is living with us. I brought it up once and his response made me feel like a horrible person. Mind you, I used to like my mother-in-law. She wants to be part of everything we do and gets visibly hurt or irritated when we make plans that don’t include her. – Move out
Move out,
It is appropriate to bring up the house hunt on a weekly or biweekly basis. You should also encourage visits to other family members. Not feeling guilty is easier said than done but the more you practice the better. You can tell her why she isn’t invited if you wish but don’t feel obligated to.
Clare
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