Indian Wells City Manager Aims to Punish Residents Who Curse or Are Mean

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via Flickr

Deciding that the entitle old-person community of Rancho Mirage should not have a monopoly on being completely out of touch with the public, the entitled old-person community of Indian Wells is proposing a “code of conduct” that would punish citizens who curse or are mean to government officials.

The city, you see, has a property owner identification card program. This program allows all of the rich, entitled assholes in town to get free tickets to tennis at the Indian Wells Tennis Garden and get discounts at local golf courses and restaurants – because when you live in a multi-million dollar house, you need shit like that.

Under the policy, King Emperor Tyrant Dictator City Manager Wade McKinney would have sole discretion to take away these privileges from any resident, at any time, for basically any reason King Emperor Tyrant Dictator City Manager Wade McKinney wants.

And why?  Well, McKinney told The Desert Sun he is just tired of all the goddam free loaders in the city’s luxury suite!

“If you scammed your way into the tennis suite and you didn’t actually have suite tickets, that is an obvious violation,” McKinney said. “I would be the person to implement it. Someone has to notify you that an offense has occurred.”

Indian Wells you see, has real fucking problems.  Not the kind of bullshit you see in other cities like crime and homelessness and transportation – real shit like old people sneaking into Wade McKinney’s precious tennis suite.  Do you think those dicks took Wade’s cold cuts and the last glass of free champagne?  Probably.  Punish them now Wade!!!  Punish them now!!!

Resident Ed Doran expressed outrage to The Desert Sun over the proposed policy:

“He will be the judge and jury in determining whether you assisted in any violation … and he can , if he chooses, take your card,” Doran said in an e-mail.

Yup, just like Judge Dredd…you know, if Judge Dredd gave 2 shits about tennis.

There is also an election code included as well as a a “code of conduct and civility” portion that would prohibit “foul language or disrespectful behavior, yelling, intimidation or abusive language” towards any city employee – which, on behalf of everyone who does not get free tennis or cheap golf as a resident of Indian Wells, let me just take a moment to say to King Emperor Tyrant Dictator City Manager Wade McKinney and every politician in Indian Wells: