Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column. Have a question, dilemma, or quandary? Send it to Clare in an email.
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Dear Clare,
A coworker is trying to get everyone in the office to help with a Go Fund Me for a surgery that her 13-year-old dog needs. She makes good money – more than most in the office. It seems wrong that she’s: A) trying to get other people to pay her vet bills, B) asking people that make less money than her and C) expecting help for a dog that is already older than most dogs live. Would it be rude to go to the boss about this to stop her from approaching more employees?
– Go fund yourself
Go fund yourself,
You could go to your boss about this but it may annoy your boss and not lead to your coworker getting a talk. Hopefully, you pick your battles at work. This one may be worth letting go. Your coworker may not be thinking about the appropriateness of her request if she’s stressed about her dog situation. For many people dogs are like family. There may be some in the office – even some that make less than her – that would find joy in helping a coworker in need.
– Clare
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Clare,
My son came home from school with a snotty note from his teacher. He wouldn’t let go of last year’s backpack. It has a hole on one pouch and has a stain or two but he’s grown quite attached to it and I figured it does the job. The note mentioned that there is a room at the school with donated items that may be helpful for us. He’s otherwise very well dressed and has nice things. It seems pretty clear we’re not a needy family. Also – what’s wrong with getting use out of things? Should I write her back and set her straight?
– Middle class mom
Middle class mom,
Your son’s teacher probably has a lot on her plate. Your son is one of many students that she has to keep an eye out for. Her note was almost certainly meant to be helpful. You should write your teacher a nice note thanking her for thinking about her students and their families. If you’d really like to get across that you’re not needy, send along a donation for your son’s teacher to add to the pile for those that need it.
– Clare
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Clare,
I met a local girl that I’m pretty into through a dating app. We haven’t met yet but have been talking and exchanging pics for about two weeks. I’d like to suggest that we meet but I am not sure where a good spot would be. I want to impress her but don’t want to look like I’m trying to impress her. I am also hoping it can be somewhere central – she’s in Palm Springs and I am in Indio.
– Offline romance
Offline romance,
How exciting! I hope your Palm Springs girl is everything you hope she’ll be. Plan for a meet up that’ll last an hour or so. In terms of meeting in the middle, hopefully, you two get used to hopping on the 10 and hanging out in each other’s backyards. For the first date, consider grabbing a dinner on El Paseo. There is a cool spot called La Fe Wine Bar. If dinner goes well, ask her to go on a stroll and grab dessert.
– Clare
