Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column. Have a question, dilemma, or quandary? Send it to Clare in an email.
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Clare,
My girlfriend loses sleep for about a week after every earthquake. She didn’t grow up here and really freaks out. At first it was cute, now I am just annoyed. She’s even woken me up if the quake doesn’t. How can I get her to be less of a baby about this? I feel like it is a ploy for attention.
– Shakin’
Shakin’,
It is a little endearing but I also become homicidal when woken in the wee hours. Talk to your girl about her fear and let her know that she’ll get used to earthquake country. Also, mention that if the quake is big enough, it’ll wake you, otherwise you need your Zs. If she wakes you up again, just go back to sleep and dream about your future girlfriend.
– Clare
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Clare,
I moved to Palm Springs to retire in peace and found a great condo complex. I never knew there could be so much drama. My neighbor painted her door teal and you would swear it was painted with the blood of puppies. There is a petition going around to make my neighbor lady repaint the door and pay a $150 fine. Another neighbor asked me to sign and I said no. Two others have mentioned it to me and I seem to have burned some bridges. How do I get away from the drama?
– ReTired of drama
ReTired of drama,
If you don’t feel like signing onto something, don’t feel pressured to because people are giving you the cold shoulder. The best strategy for staying out of drama is not adding fuel to the fire on either side. “I hadn’t heard about that. Hey, I’ve got to run to my pickleball game” is a perfectly fine response. The people who bring it up to you are only trying to stir the drama. Congrats on your retirement! Enjoy it and whatever you do, don’t run for the HOA board.
– Clare
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Clare,
I work in a small shop and my boss is on vacation for two weeks. My coworker brought her five-year-old son into the office one day for nearly the entire day last week. She said her sitter bailed. She asked me not to tell our boss. She did it again today without trying to justify it. It seemed a little weird for customers plus my coworker was distracted trying to keep her son busy. Would I be a jerk to tell on her? I’m the only employee who has seen this happen so she’d know it was me.
– Boss away
Boss away,
That’s tricky. We all enjoy a bit more freedom when the boss is away but this seems inappropriate. If you play by the rules and don’t expect your coworker to let your stuff slide, mention the situation to your boss. Don’t call while he/she is on vacation and don’t drill into how it cramped your style or made you feel weird. Also, watch your back.
– Clare
