Dear Senator Sanders,
Well, well, well. Looks like someone sure has fallen in love with the Coachella Valley. Was it the hot springs at Two Bunch Palms? Was it the kettle corn at Village Fest? Was it the mediocre fajitas at Las Casuelas? Oh, who cares what it was – clearly, you dig the desert because you are coming back just a week after you left.
So what do you say a few of us get together, have some drinks, and sing a little karaoke?
I get it. You are coming to town for a rally because you are focused on that whole becoming Leader of the Free World thing. And that’s cool. But, you have some time in between wrapping up in San Berdoo on Tuesday and your rally Wednesday at Big League Dreams – so you should grab the wife and an Uber and meet a few of us at Neil’s Lounge for some karaoke.
Now clearly, I do not need to sell you on the karaoke portion of the night…
And as far as the rest, I will tell you what, normally Shield’s Date Garden closes at 5, but you are kind of a big deal – so I am thinking we can make one call to make sure we get you and the Mrs. a delicious date shake on the way.
Hey, while we are at it, maybe we can get the peeps over at TKB to fix up some of their famous sammies – as we wouldn’t want you drinking on an empty stomach. They even have one called the Trump…oh, wait. Nevermind.
Now, I don’t think they have Heavy Top on tap at Neil’s – or anywhere outside of Vermont – but we can make sure that you get some good local craft beer while you are in town. Did you know they brew some of our local beers with coffee and toffee? And, if we are lucky, maybe we can find some rich dude from the Madison Club to pick up the tab for all of us – oh, I bet you would love that!
It is not everyday we get a presidential candidate coming through town to do something other than hold a private fundraiser or kiss the Koch brothers asses – so let’s make the most of the time we have and have some fun.
We will all go ahead and keep Tuesday night open for you – with the assumption you are totally down to hang.
It will be great, you will love it, and if there is still time, we can go looking for Midget Town at the end of the night (hell, we might be able to get you a room there for the night) – and we promise to have you in tip top, bird sorcerer-shape for your rally at Big League Dreams the next day.
Looking forward to it,
Casey and the 14 people who read Cactus Hugs
