I ranked all the weird Oreo flavors (while having beers)

(Mari Hinojosa)

Oreo cookies, aren’t they fantastic? That’s exactly what I thought when I decided to plan an Oreo Tasting Par-Tay. It actually had started as a mini-rant about how I dislike the creme filling, and only wanted the wafers. I posted my thought on Facebook in what the kids call a “status update”. The conversation got heated, punches were thrown, tables overturned, total and utter chaos. And then I decided to be a little more open minded. Why not try all the wonky flavors of Oreo cookies that are on the market? Don’t overthink the creme filling issue (there’s a “that’s what she said” joke in there somewhere) and just see what the Oreo world has to offer. Turns out the people at Oreo are monsters. A prime example of just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

I created a Facebook event, and invited my entire friend list. Despite some people being in different states or countries, I paid no mind to that fact. I initially thought it was a mistake to be that lazy, but it ended up adding a fun twist to the whole thing. I planned for the event to be held at the La Quinta Brewing Co. (PD location, to be exact) and had a few folks show interest. Photos started coming in of the packages that people had purchased, I even had a friend donate to the cause, since she was unable to make it.

We ended up with 9 Oreo flavors plus Nabisco’s Famous Chocolate Wafers, as a tester. These were brought in to see if they would pass as solo wafers sans creme. Close, but no cigar.

(Mari Hinojosa)

The taste test contenders were:

  • Limited edition Firework (pop rocks in the creme filling)
  • Limited edition Waffles and Syrup
  • Limited edition Blueberry Pie
  • Triple Double (double decker wafers, chocolate and regular creme filling…little handheld artery cloggers)
  • Birthday Cake
  • Chocolate Creme
  • Cinnamon Bun
  • Oreo Thins Salted Caramel
  • Lemon

Beer was a decent counterpart, a few tasters opted for the Nitro Koffi Porter, seeing that coffee and cookies make a good combo. I got the logic, but stuck with the Sundaze Session IPA.

We started off slow, tasting each one. I made sure to “cleanse the palatte” with beer and water before moving on, you know, like a professional taste tester would, right? That’s how that works, yes? YES!

The favorites of the night were salted caramel and lemon. Lemon was already my favorite, (obviously you can’t top the OG Oreo, but these are right up there with them) so I was glad to see that they were well received. Least favorite went to the well-intended birthday cake Oreo. I’m thinking that perhaps the birthday cake Oreo with the golden wafers would have been pretty solid. The chocolate wafer was a little too intense paired with that filling.

Because I socialize with absolute maniacs cookie parts were swapped around to make even more combos. Blueberry waffles, for example, became a thing. Then we did what any sane group of people hopped up on sugar and beer would do, we put them all together to make one big cookie sandwich. One brave attendee went for it, and lived to tell the tale. There’s a video somewhere, figured it would be a good idea to film it, so if things took a turn, at least there was some sort of explanation. “How did he choke? Well, you’re gonna laugh when I tell you, but he tried eating a stack of 9 Oreo cookies all at once. Didn’t you see it on SnapChat?”

All in all it was a fantastic time! My family from Arkansas held their own satellite Oreo Tasting Par-Tay and had Oreo Thins (coconut, salted caramel, chocolate and mint) peanut butter, red velvet, cinnamon roll and jelly donut. Each of them picked a cookie flavor and washed them down with Redd’s Ale Variety Pack. Their top pick was also salted caramel and least fave was cinnamon bun.

Final rankings:

  1. Salted caramel AND lemon (they were both popular with the taste buds)
  2. Blueberry pie
  3. Chocolate creme
  4. Fireworks
  5. Waffles and syrup
  6. Triple double
  7. Cinnamon bun
  8. Birthday cake

So for next time, what should we tackle? Gatorade and Goldfish? Cheez-Its have an entire wall of options. Last night someone mentioned having a Pepperidge Farm cookie tasting. Which seems super fancy to me. I’m thinking there would have to be a suit and tie requirement for that one. Tails and ball gowns!

I’d like to hear any suggestions you might have, because Oreo tasting was definitely fun.