It is summer in the Coachella Valley. But I do not have to tell you that since the sweat dripping down your back already has. Living through a summer in Greater Palm Springs is bad enough, but it is just made worse by all of the dumb things that people outside of the Coachella Valley say to you about the heat of the season.
Here are 7 things that people from elsewhere say about the desert, along with the appropriate response:
1) “But it’s a dry heat.”
Sure, yeah. Because 123 degrees feels like 72 without the humidity. Also, have you been to the Coachella Valley lately? It’s getting more and more humid all the time and when it does rain, everything goes to shit.
2) “Why don’t you just leave for the summer?”
Oh, I don’t know…maybe because I am broke, have a job, and have to pay bills and stuff.
3) “Well, at least you don’t have to shovel snow.”
Other cities get “snow days” where school and workplaces close. The Desert does not get “heat days” – even when it is hotter than hell.
4) “But isn’t driving on Highway 111 so much better now?”
Actually, yes. This is true and does not make me angry that you said it.
5) “How do you live in a place that is so damn hot?”
I just do.
6) “At least you have air conditioning.”
Yes – and with it a huge bill every month from the jerks at the electric company.
7) “Too bad for you, it’s only 75 degrees where I am right now.”
Fuck you.
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