Tater tots are the best side item. This is a fact.
Exhibit A:
Server: Would you like fries with your burger?
Customer: Ummm, I suppose, I mean *looks at menu showing other options of coleslaw, onion rings, sweet potato fries, and side salad* sure, yeah, I guess.
*closes menu with a frown*
Exhibit B:
Server: Would you like fries with your sandwich?
Customer: Umm, I supp…
Server: Or would you prefer tater tots?
Customer: TATER TOTS! Hell yeah!
*Jumps up, high fives server, gets standing ovation from everyone is restaurant, has best meal ever*
Exhibit B is how it is in restaurants that serve tater tots. This is a fact.
But, as awesome as tater tots are, so few restaurants actually serve the tater tots. This is sad and should change ASAP. People love tater tots. People want the tater tots. Give people the tater tots.
They are perfect. You can have them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or a 4th meal because you’re stoned at 4 am, because they’re versatile. Restaurants don’t serve french fries with breakfast, but they serve tater tots don’t they? Because they know, people want tater tots as much as possible no matter what time of day it is.
Tater tots are perfect by themselves, but you can also dip them in just about everything: ketchup, ranch, nacho cheese…it doesn’t matter what you choose because they just make every condiment even better.
You can also shake seasoning on them like they are cool ranch or nacho cheese Doritos, except they end up better than Doritos because they are tater tots and they’re the best.
You can even make tater tot nachos, because why not???
Just be careful when you get tots, because when you do, everyone you are with is going to want you tots, because they also know that tater tots are the best, but they are too cool or afraid to order them.
Screw them. Keep your tots. You earned them.
Finally, to restaurants that are not currently serving the best side item: