22 Phrases That Have Never Been Uttered in Greater Palm Springs

These are 22 phrases that have never been uttered in Palm Springs or the Coachella Valley. Not once. Not even ironically.

1. “Canadians really are the best drivers.”
2. “Those country club folks are definitely doing their part for water conservation.”
3. “This casino really smells great.”
4. “Buying a black car with leather seats was a wise choice.”
5. “Old people are the best tippers.”
6. “It is never windy north of the 10.”
7. “What a lovely August afternoon.”
8. “You know what we need? Another golf course.”
9. “There is so much opportunity for young people in this town.”
10. “I easily enrolled in every COD class I wanted.”
11. “Coachella Valley public transit is fantastic.”
12. “There are just too many good-looking, single people to choose from.”
13. “This place gets nuts after 10pm.”
14. “Highway 111 could definitely use more stoplights.”
15. “There is just too much going on this weekend.”
16. “The parking lot at The River is laid out perfectly.”
17. “I think I will just grab lunch off a delicious food truck.”
18. “Palm Desert home prices are super affordable.”
19. “Nope, you will definitely not find any tweekers in DHS.”
20. “Driving from the East Valley to the West Valley is a breeze.”
21. “We could really use one more Applebee’s.”
22. “I cannot believe how low my electric bill was for July.”

Bonus: New Phrases We Still Haven’t Heard

Because time moves forward, and yet somehow the same problems remain.

1. “Traffic won’t be bad, it’s the off-season.”
2. “At least Edison kept prices reasonable this summer.”
3. “This Airbnb definitely feels like a normal long-term neighborhood.”
4. “Sure, let’s do an afternoon hike in July.”
5. “The wind really adds to the ambiance.”

Note: This post is intended as humor, and anyone who disagrees is probably stuck behind a golf cart on Highway 111 right now.