Welcome to Ask Clare, our advice column. Have a question, dilemma, or quandary? Send it to Clare in an email or on her Facebook page.
Clare,
I got stiffed for Mother’s Day. My husband bought me the requisite card and even some flowers but he would not lift a finger or help with the kids all day. That’s all I wanted was to sleep in and to have some time to read in peace. I’d told him as much but it didn’t happen. I am now pretty upset and giving him the cold shoulder. I don’t want to be passive aggressive but I don’t want to blow up at him either. Any advice?
– Mama mayday
Mama mayday,
I’m sorry you didn’t get the time to yourself you were looking for. The good news is that you can get some today or tomorrow or the next day. Tell your husband you’re leaving for a few hours – head to Koffi, a nail salon or a cafe to just chill and read. After you take the time, tell your husband that you wish you’d have been able to take the time on Sunday and that it hurt your feelings that he ignored your wishes. Let him know how much it helped you to have that time – maybe he’ll step up next time you need it.
– Clare
—–
Clare,
My grandma repeats herself a lot. I think it is beyond what is normal. Her doctor says she doesn’t have dementia or anything. What she probably doesn’t tell her doctor is that she drinks at least three vodkas a day. I told my grandma that I thought she needed to cut back and it didn’t go well. Did I overstep?
– Guilty grandson
Guilty grandson,
I hate to refer to your grandma as an old dog but sometimes it can be hard to teach ‘em new tricks. It can also be hard for the matriarch of a family to take advice from her grandkid. Tell your grandma that you spoke with her about it because you care about her and have serious concerns for her health. Apologize if you weren’t tactful. If she wants to give you the silent treatment for a while, then you’re not hearing double. You said your piece.
– Clare
—–
Clare,
My boyfriend won’t cut his hair. When we started dating it was a normal length and now he’s sporting a man bun. I am not into it. At all. His hair will be longer than mine soon. I mentioned a haircut once before and he didn’t take the hint. Any ideas to convince him to get a summer cut?
– No boy buns
No boy buns,
Tell him directly you’re not into it and see what he does. If it really doesn’t work for you, cut and run.
– Clare
