Hey Supermarkets, I know we do not tell you this often enough – but thanks for having all of that food available for us to take home and then stuff into our feeding holes. And now that we have said something nice about you, we have to follow it with a criticism: your express lanes are worthless!
Now, they do not have to be worthless. They could be great. But, do you know what is making them terrible? The assholes who show up to the “15 Item or Less” lane with 58 things. What makes it even worse? You let them do it.
These are supposed to be express checkouts and when you are behind someone with 37 things, it kind of eliminates the whole “express” thing.
So screw those assholes. You do not have to ignore the fact that they are cheating the system. You can treat them like the jerks they are.
Here is an idea. Ring up 15 of their items. Then, throw the other 22 back into their cart and tell them to get to the back of the line.
Rules are rules.
Without them, it is anarchy. Does Albertson’s or Stater Bros. want anarchy? No. Does Aldi? Well, they do make you wheel your shit in a rented cart to the counter and bag it yourself, so maybe.
We know that you have a lot to do, but this is important. Plus, think of how empowered you will make your checkers feel by empowering them to be snarky and a bit of a dick to asshole customers abusing the express lanes? They will love it.
Hell, it will probably be the only thing they like about their jobs – what with all of the snowbirds constantly complaining about the plastic bag policy.
