Kris Long would like you to know that KMIR’s pants are, in fact, on fire

Kris Long fire

Kris Long, a professional golfer moonlighting as a local television news anchor, took to Facebook on Tuesday to inform viewers that KMIR, a 1980’s morning zoo radio show calling itself a news station, was a liar, liar, and that it’s pants were on fire.

The Facebook post was in response to several posts from KMIR and the on-air staff patting themselves on the back about the recent television ratings – a thing that only TV salespeople and advertising agencies give two shits about – including this one from weather guesser Ginger Jeffries:

Long took exception to KMIR’s claims – saying, in part:

Nielsen ratings come in various categories, and are often manipulated by individual stations (including those I have worked for) to give the impression of complete and total victory. Yes, KMIR showed impressive growth in demographics for the ratings month that was February. That number is the much coveted younger (ie., more inclined to make large purchases) viewer. I congratulate them on that effort! However, left completely unsaid is the equally important total households watching any particular channel during various time periods. In that category, the clear winner remains my sister station, KESQ Newschannel 3!

More importantly though, Long added a cartoon of a man who either had either just eaten at Chipotle or was the victim of a pants fire caused by lying.

This will mean very little to most of you, but I detest obfuscation and feel it necessary to clarify some posts being…

Posted by Kris Long CBSL2 on Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Neither KMIR nor Long mentioned that basically no one is watching TV anymore and young people are getting their news elsewhere.  Also, I thought this was how TV news people settled their arguments:

With that said, congrats on being able to sell those annoying car dealer and solar company commercials for a slightly higher price, local TV stations.  Hopefully, you will be able to use that extra money to buy an extinguisher or two…you know, for the pants fires.